Don't Believe Everything You Think!

Mark Twain said, “It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."

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• Giving sugar to kids makes them hyper
• Dropping a penny off the Empire State Building could kill someone
• Driving barefoot is illegal
• A human is incapable of running a mile faster the four minutes

OK, so we all know that last one isn't so, but until Roger Bannister ran a mile in a time of 3:59.4 in 1954, it was believed that a human could not run a mile in less than four minutes.

Bannister was unique. He was sure it could be done, so he found a way to do it.

How many people never attempted it because they knew for sure it could not be done?

The big problems with the things we know for sure that "just ain't so" are
1)They affect our behavior
2)They give us an excuse to not step out
3)Because we "just know for sure", we can become emotionally attached to defending them.

These phantom facts can be as innocuous as those I listed above to some that are severely limiting.

Since 2004, my team and I have done quite a bit of work with job seekers and those who are in some form of career transition. I've noted through the years that the most difficult question for someone in transition to answer is "What do you really WANT to do for a living?"

Adults seem to have this inability to answer that question because we "know for sure" it's irrelevant, childish and unproductive. When I ask that question, I usually hear one of two answers: Either "I have no idea" or "I can't earn a living doing what I want to do" 

At least those with the second answer have some idea what they want to do. :-)

Here's another question for you: What do you really want to do? Not just for a living, but is there something you really want to do that seems to allude you like the proverbial carrot on the end of an ever-moving stick?  If there is, ask yourself what's keeping you from achieving this goal.

Seriously, take some time to sit in a quiet place without interruption and record all the obstacles to doing what you really want to do. Just list them.

Now do some research.  Take some time and expend some effort to find out how many of those obstacles are real and how many "just ain't so". How many of them can be mitigated?

When Bannister describes his quest to break the four minute mile, he tells about finding new ways to train and run. He dealt with emotional and psychological obstacles. He considered all conditions: the track's location, weather, what he should eat the day of the run.


By the way, if you think any of those things I opened with are so, do some real research. After dispelling those and whatever is holding you back, you might find that success suits you.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

How do you know which is your best foot?

One of the neat things about being on the journey of continuous improvement (CI) is being able to say, "I'm not perfect and haven't peaked, but I'll be better tomorrow."  

With this, comes the temptation to let something slip or do less than our (current) best and write it off to the idea that "Well, I'm a work in progress.  I'll do better next time."

Continuous improvement demands that we're honest about where we are in any particular area of life so that we can know we're in need of continued work. Of course, knowing where we are (our current best) demands that we give that best no matter what.

The constant evaluation that is part of Continuous Improvement should not be ammo to unduly criticize ourselves.  It should, instead, be fuel for celebration. Every step of improvement should be celebrated because we're one step better - one step farther away from the old state.  Our current state is the reward for our CI struggles.  When viewed from from this perspective, why would we not want to always give our current best?  Giving less than our best at any time does a disservice and pays disrespect to the effort and struggles that have gotten us where we are (where ever that may be).

Keep giving your best, and keep making that best even better.  Celebrate every new step as a new victory.  Remember, Semper Meliori is not about criticism and dwelling on the old.  it's about celebration and looking forward to the new.

Self Awareness of Oneself

Things are not always as they appear

I was watching a  TV show recently that consisted in part of cutaway interviews with some of the subjects.  In one of these cutaways the subject, explaining her success with a particular endeavor said, "I always try to be self aware of myself." I both chuckled and rolled my eyes at this statement, but it sparked a thought.

Before I go on I just want to put it out there that my goal is not to belittle or unduly criticize the person who made this statement; it's just to point out a couple of things.

Self awareness is pivotal to continuous improvement - especially personal continuous improvement. How can we improve if we're not aware and honest about where we are, who we are and why we act?

I applaud the TV subject's attitude of self awareness for self improvement, but I wonder if she was aware that a statement like "self aware of myself" screams the need for more self awareness and self improvement.  I realize we can't all be award winning wordsmiths and orators, but shouldn't one have enough self awareness to present better on national TV?

I'm afraid this whole thing illustrates a trap that we all fall into occasionally:  The trap of being so pleased with ourselves in one or more areas that it blinds us to deficiencies in other areas. We see our grades going up, or sales increasing, or audiences getting bigger which thrills us.  Of course, we should acknowledge such growth and celebrate our victories.

Remember, though, that the moment just after we complete the victory dance is always a good time to look into the mirror and be honest about what we see.  This way we can ensure that we are truly and honestly self aware of our whole self and keep on the path of semper meliori.

Don't forget who you are -

AC

Givers and Takers

I was talking to one of my trusted advisors not long ago, and he brought up the concept of Givers and Takers. Givers, of course, are people who seem to constantly give to others - time, encouragement, helpful (truly helpful) information, errands etc. My experience is that true givers are so good at it, that most of the time, you don't notice they're giving until you stop and reflect on it. They don't call attention to their giving, and would certainly never ask for anything in return. That's just not them. In fact, it's likely they're not even conscious that they're giving. It's just how they are.
Takers, on the other hand, take. I don't mean that they receive what the givers are giving (although they will do this), they take whether the other person is giving or not. Like their Giver counterparts, Takers are also really good (except at taking). They too are unconsciously competent, and most of the time don't even realize they're taking. When it is brought to their attention, they will consciously give back in an attempt to balance the scales, but my experience is they don't give back equitably because (as noted) they don't realize how much they've taken.

Before I go on, I want to go back to the difference between RECEIVING and TAKING. There are times in everyone's life when we need help, and there is nothing wrong with receiving that help. A trauma patient in the ER, a person fighting through a difficult time in their life, a person who is struggling to master a new skill are all in a position to RECEIVE from others. As previously noted, Taking happens even when others don't necessarily want to Give.

Back to Giving and Taking: I'm sure you can think about people you know who fit into these categories. You've probably already thought of a person or two. If someone came to mind, I'm guessing it was someone who is noticeably strong at whichever category to which you've assigned them.

What about the less noticeable?

What about you?

The person with whom I was discussing this told me an interesting story. He had attended a personal growth type conference. At one point the participants were instructed to tell whether they perceived the others as Givers or Takers. My advisor said he thought of himself as a Giver until one by one, the others in his group labeled him as a Taker. How's that for interrupting someone's pattern? He had to stop and ponder how this perception of him was formed. Of course he could have denied it, and written the others off as crazy or not completely informed or just plain wrong, but that's not him.

I'm convinced most (and the high side of most, at that) Takers don't realize they're Takers. In fact, I know someone personally who Takes by Giving. How is that, you might ask. This person does things that APPEAR to be for others, but when you really see what's going on, when you really look at the motivation, it becomes obvious that these things are done in such a way that they are ultimately done for them (the Taker). Sometimes they are done with the expectation of what will come back. I've even experienced this person meeting someone and immediately wondering what the new person can do for them. If you asked this person whether they see themself as a Giver or Taker, they would rapidly answer, "Giver", and they would point to all their good deeds as evidence.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Giving and Taking are rooted in this: Those of us who value others more than ourselves Give without thought, and those of us who value ourselve more than others Take without thought. The degree to which we Give or Take is based on the degree to which we value either others over ourselves or ourselves over others.
So, I ask again, what about you? What is the evidence for the side of the fence on which you think you fall? Are your intentions for giving similar to the person I just mentioned?

I have to admit that I was a Taker for most of my life, and I do mean most. In fact, it's been a relatively short time that I've been trying to consciously not take. Ultimately, I'd like to be a giver, but for now, consciously not taking is a great step for me. The fact that I'm aware of the distinction and conscious of my behavior is a milestone. (What do they say the first step is?)

Unfortunately for me, my Taking got to the point that it became obvious without others having to tell me (although a couple of them did anyway).

Just as a sanity check, I challenge you to survey a few people who know you well and whom you trust. Do they think you're on the same side of the Giving and Taking fence as you do?

If you're a Giver, you probably don't RECEIVE very well.  Relax sometimes, and allow others to Give to you.
If you're a Taker, don't freak out. Just start consciously NOT TAKING so much and try to consciously GIVE just to give.

Keep in mind, there should not be any condemnation in this. All personal growth begins with a tough question. This is how we maintain the Sempor Meliori.

Where have I been, and why the change?

When I launched this blog as Personal CI last year, I had this grand view of myself and what I would blog about to encourage others to embrace personal continuous improvement.  I thought about the things I've learned from people like Jim Rohn, Amthony Robbins and Don Akers (to name a few) and how these things have shaped me and progressed me.  I thought about how I had learned to pick up on these things and apply them to my life.  I dreamed how I would pass these things on to the readers so they could grow and maybe even tell others.  What I didn't realize is that God had plans for my personal C I that would far surpass what I thought I would do with the normal CI process and the words from my C I mentors.

As it turns out, the areas in which I've grown since last year were blind spots - areas *I* would not have chosen to work on because (by definition) I didn't even see they needed work.  Well, maybe that's not entirely true; I knew I could've used some work in those areas, but not nearly as much, and not nearly as urgently as was actually the case.

I won't go into the personal events with which this chapter began (at least not right now) only because I don't want this to be about those events.  I want this to be about the journey to always improve - the semper meliori.  I'm sure those things will come out as this iteration of the blog moves forward. In fact, I am writing a series of books about them all.  The first of which will be out soon.

From a personal C I standpoint, the last six months have been like drinking from a fire hose, as they say.  It seems like every single day I've learned something, I've seen something or have been reminded of something that afforded an opportunity to get better.  The content of the posts that are to follow will be taken from these lessons and those that are still to come.

I hope you will choose to come back to see where I've been, and where I'm going.  If you do, I hope and pray that what I've learned will benefit you and perhaps even prevent you from having to learn the same things the way I have.

Until next time,  don't forget who you are -

- AC

Big People

“Big things require big people!”

I heard these words from a BP IT executive at a “town hall” meeting, and it started me thinking.

The statement is true, and when a company like BP needs to accomplish something big, it can go out and hire people who are as big as the challenge requires.

What happens, though, when an individual has to accomplish something big? We can’t just go out and hire all the talent in the world. Most times we have two choices: Get big enough for the challenge or give up without trying. How many dreams have gone unfulfilled or how many achievements have gone unrealized because someone shrunk away from a challenge instead of rising to the occasion? How many times in your personal life have you either let something go or pushed yourself to get big enough for the situation?

Right now – right this minute before you read more or do anything else – stop and make a list of the challenges you’re facing or the dreams you want to fulfill. Now list the ways in which you must “get bigger” to get where you want or need to be.

Now ask yourself what ONE THING you can do TODAY to move yourself in the right direction. Do this one thing TODAY, and do one or two more tomorrow. By taking small steps you can build momentum, and before you know it, you’ll be much closer to your goal.
Here’s some good news: You’re not alone. You don’t have to do this on your own. Other people are willing to help you and support you. Ask your network for ideas, information or to help you be accountable. Draw upon others to give you a hand, and offer yours to them.

My name is Andrew, and I am a C I junkie.

  No, C I is not a new designer pharmaceutical; it's an abbreviation for Continuous Improvement.  I know I'm a C I junkie because I practice, follow and advocate C I in all settings, and not just in my world.  I love to read about, hear about and witness C I in other organizations and other people. C I is a big buzz word in the workplace and within organizations, but my favorite flavor is Personal C I, because it's at the heart of all C I.  In order for an organization to get better, its individuals (or at least AN individual) must get better.

C I is a journey (by definition, it's continuous), so it might not appeal to those who are all about arriving at the destination. It also doesn't seem to appeal to those who don't like to admit they have room to grow. On the other hand, it's liberating to me because it allows one to say "I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better."

So, I'll blog and reblog about Personal Continuous Improvement in this very space in conjunction with my regular website (http://www.andrewcastillo.com/) for all you other C I junkies out there. I know there are others out there - Google found you :-)